Round Two

I have an announcement to make, right after I kick myself for not having kept up with this blog. Oh the memories that exist only in the pictures from my iPhone, on Facebook, and in the recesses of my poor memory. I almost feel like I need to mourn the loss of those precious memories, which will unfortunately fade. I am resolving to be better at documenting my memories. Someone, please, keep me accountable.

On to the good news. We're pregnant again! Paxton is going to be a big brother! We are absolutely thrilled and obviously this is what is spurring on my want to blog again. I captured the moments of my first pregnancy and have so enjoyed being able to go back and read through those memories and I want to do the same with this pregnancy. I don't want to forget a thing. Some of it might not be fun, it may be painful, and I might (scratch that, I WILL) complain, but I want to remember it. There's something so precious about reading through my thoughts years later. I get to relive it in a way and that is so so sweet.

So to catch you up on where we are now, here's a little history...

About a year ago we knew we wanted to start trying to have another baby. In fact, it was a little over a year ago and the funniest thing happened. Once Brandon and I agreed we were ready for Baby #2, Paxton got very very sick. So sick, we ended up in the Emergency Room on Christmas night. We didn't sleep for 3 days. We reevaluated and decided we weren't quite ready for that kind of a night plus a baby. We waited. A few weeks later we decided we were ready. Paxton got sick. Very sick. We didn't sleep for 3 days. We reevaluated and decided to wait. A few weeks later, we're ready. Repeat process of Paxton getting sick, us not sleeping, having terrified thoughts of crazed sleepless nights and a baby on top of all that. For literally 6 months this happened to us. Then we decided, ya know, maybe the timing just isn't right. Brandon is a little more keen to this than I am.

Then just a few weeks ago I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant. It was very early on- only 4 weeks- and we were so excited to tell our families. BUT, we got the flu. Paxton got it first and even though I was determined not to get it - afterall I had gotten my flu shot this year AND I lysoled everything in my house (literally everything, including the shampoo in the shower and milk in the fridge. I wasn't messin' around) - I got it anyways. I started having a sore throat Tuesday night and by Wednesday morning I knew I had the flu. I went to the doctor and we decided not to do Tamiflu because they weren't sure of the effects on babies in utero. It was a painfully long and miserable week. Many many thanks to my husband, the hero, who cared for us, and for the families from church who made us homemade soup. I was so disappointed that we wouldn't be able to tell our families that weekend.

Then the following Friday, I woke up (6 weeks pregnant) with a not so lovely and all too familiar feeling- morning sickness- and despite the sleet and snow, we drove to Lynchburg to stay with my mom and Deryl for the weekend. They didn't ask why we made the trek through the dangerous weather to get there and once we arrived we had Paxton ask MawMaw to read him his new book, I'm a Big Brother. The look on my mom's face was priceless. It was frozen in shock and then overjoyed! It was totally worth waiting 2 whole weeks to tell her! Congratulations MawMaw! You'll have another grandbaby soon!

While we were there, Josh and Christa came over for dinner and to hang out and mom asked if anyone wanted coffee after dinner. I declined mainly because I didn't want even a cup of decaf to keep me up that night but she and Christa wanted some so she started to brew the coffee. I was sitting at the end of the dining room table and a few minutes into the brewing, the smell reached me and I clamped a hand over my mouth and nose and gagged. I was in shock. With my first pregnancy I had a major aversion to coffee and it made me so sick that I couldn't drink it, smell it or be around it without becoming super nauseous and sick. With Paxton the aversion came on slowly but this time it hit me like a freight train. I spent an hour and a half in the bathroom and bedroom trying to recover from the smell of the coffee. Poor mom ended up taking the Keurig into her bedroom and brewing her cup of coffee the next morning out of the open area where I couldn't smell it. She's so thoughtful!

When we got back home, we planned to have Brandon's family over for dinner Sunday night. Somewhat suspicious since we don't do that often, and only Brittney, her kids, and Joan were there at first. Brad and Jessica (and friends haha!) came soon afterwards, but we missed having Nana and Pop too. We had Paxton pray for dinner and with only a little prompting from Brandon, he prayed also for the baby in mommy's belly. Joan wasn't shocked. She said she had a feeling that's why we were having everyone over for dinner but Brittney was shocked! She had no idea! And I was shocked she was shocked! I felt like I had dropped so many clues and that I thought surely she knew!

Here's how I'm feeling right now:

How far along? 10 weeks 5 days

Weight gain? 5lbs already! I’ve slacked on the running lately because of all the morning sickness and exhaustion and have been famished!

Morning sickness? YES. Oh yes. But this is 24/7 all day all night sickness. Starting promptly when I was 6 weeks pregnant, I have been green around the edges day and night. I’ve left work in the middle of the day (leaving everything except my keys!), hugged the white throne, and practically thrown the laptop mid-deal-posting for fear of losing my breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Pray for me!

Maternity clothes? not yet. I pretty much refuse to wear any maternity clothes until I reach the second trimester. I did have to buy new pajama bottoms that were a little less tight around the waist but I’m totally not counting that 

Best moment this week? Seeing my baby during the ultrasound today. I cried, well, like a baby, actually. Pun fully intended.

Movement? Not yet. He/she is moving, we saw that in the ultrasound, but I can’t quite feel it yet.

Food cravings? Not really, unless you count that week where I only wanted BBQ bacon cheeseburgers and that morning I had fish sticks for breakfast. Other than that, no cravings except for wanting whatever will make me feel less nauseous right then.

Food aversions? Coffee, just like in my first pregnancy, and -gasp- SWEETS. There is something majorly wrong with me. I LOVE sweets. Let me repeat. I LOVE SWEETS. But I canNOT stomach even the THOUGHT of something sweet right now. All desserts, breakfast foods that are sweet, all fruit, and even any vegetables that are slightly sweet make me gag and my stomach turn in circles. Literally. I opened a yogurt for my son the other morning, didn’t think about it and licked my finger, and almost had to bolt for the bathroom. So sad. So, so sad. 

What I’m looking forward to… hearing the baby’s heartbeat in a few weeks.

A big ole fat chocolate milkshake

Today at work, there was a health fair. I found out my cholesterol, my blood pressure, my bmi, my waist size, and my weight. My weight... Ahh yes, this numerical enemy that haunts every female, especially after giving birth. I have to be honest. I got on the scale and hollered out loud because I realized that for the first time since bringing little Paxton into this world, I am at my pre-pregnancy weight! And since I obviously had to explain the loud explosion, the lady working the "weigh in station" said, "well gosh, I guess you'll be excited to know that most people are saying consistently that this scale is 3 pounds off... so you're actually 3 pounds lighter than that!"

WOOHOO! Not that I've been really stressed over it because I'm breastfeeding and that truly has been the best diet ever, but I was wondering when I'd reach my pre-pregnancy weight. And for those of you faithful readers (probably only my mom and my sister-in-law haha!) if you remember, before we started trying to get pregnant, I lost 10 pounds, so I am actaully lighter than I had been for a few years straight! YAY!

All this to say... I'm celebtrating the realization that I now weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight... with a BIG OLE FAT CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE! (seriously, I am).

HE'S CRAWLING!!

Ok folks! PAXTON IS OFFICIALLY CRAWLING!!! My kid is mobile! Ahhh, he's growing up way too fast!

Brain Dump

So because I haven't blogged in foreverrrr, I thought I'd just do a brain dump of everything that's going on. Keep your arms and legs inside at all times and hold on tight because here we go!

• my little brother popped the question... congrats Josh and Christa =) so excited for you two, I hope you love and respect each other for all the rest of your days and wish nothing less than a lifetime of adoration for one another and happiness.


• i've discovered flavor-blasted goldfish (thanks to my coworker, Kelly)- if you haven't ever tried them... DO! Disclaimer: if you don't want to add a new addiction in your life, DON'T! They are delish...and really do have flavor packed in them!! haha


• we cleaned out my car (finally... I live out of my vehicle, bad I know, but a direct result of such a busy life!!) and went to one of those car wash joints where they roll your car through the washing thingy and then all these little boys (well not little really, more like high school and college aged guys) run around and wipe off all the water and then clean the inside for you too. It was my first time at one of these kinds of car wash places and such a learning experience. Fun fact: did you know that no one drives your car through the washing part? It is pushed by little roller thingys.


• Paxton now eats baby food like a champ! He has eaten (and LOVED!) sweet potatoes, pears, peaches, and bananas. At night, I mix in rice cereal in hopes that it will sit in his tummy a little longer and we can all sleep a little more.


• I have successfully unsuccessfully tried to sleep train Paxton 3 times now. The wildly crazy thing is that I sort of like getting up in the middle of the night with him. I know, I MUST be out of mind (kind of like how I kinda sorta maybe might miss being pregnant, even though I swore I would never ever say that since I was so nauseas and so fat) but I'm not saying I don't miss my sleep, I'm just saying that there's something special about cuddling with my baby when all of the world is sleeping... after he's back asleep, I usually hold him and kiss his face all over and contemplate sleeping the rest of the night in the rocker, holding him on my chest... then gently lay him back in his crib.


• Paxton can now roll from back to tummy to back (to tummy to back to tummy to back... all across the living room floor)


• I got a new job, maybe one day I'll share this crazy story


• Paxton weighed 21lbs 8 oz at his doctors appointment 2 weeks ago... crazy kid!


• My neice, Collyn, was put in the PICU last week because she had RSV and was having trouble breathing. Thank the Lord she is home and doing MUCH better. She is only 3 weeks old and I love her.


• If anyone was worried about my pre-pregnancy twizzler addiction... don't worry, its back. In full force. Like, I have a "family-size" bag in my purse as we speak. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I'm almost there =)


• Did I tell you I hurt my foot this past fall? Not sure how and not exactly sure when but I was in one of those fabulously fashionable black orthopaedic boots for 9 weeks... and it still hurts. I've got to go back to the doctor before it gets warm out because i'm going to want to run and right now, I want to just cry.


• I love my husband more now than I ever have before.


• I also love my ipad (bahahaha, inside joke that only Brandon will get)

3am and a rocking chair

Have I mentioned before that Paxton has slept through the night 9 hours before? Well, when I started back to work, the little guy started waking up a couple of times throughout the night. Ironic, huh?, that this started happening when I was no longer able to nap during the day and needed the sleep... eh, oh well, I've pretty much gotten used to the lack of sleep. Well lately Paxton will wake up twice during the night, I'll nurse him (because its the easiest and quickest way to get him back to sleep) and he'll go right back to sleep and so will I. Some nights, however, he will wake up 5 times. Yes, 5. Yes, this is averages out to be almost once an hour or so. Yes, I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d the next day. But, ya know, even though I am exhausted and get so frustrated during those nights when he wakes up multiple times, rocking him to sleep is one of my favorite things to do in life. There are times when he nurses and doesnt go right back to sleep and I try to put him in his crib and he just cries. I would too, if someone I loved and trusted so much put me down by myself in the dark. One of the books I'm reading on helping him sleep through the night compared it to this: What if you went to sleep all warm and cozy in your bed with your spouse and woke up by yourself on the kitchen floor with no pillow or blanket.Thinking about it that way makes me want to cuddle him for as long as possible and make sure that he's asleep when I put him in his crib. I know this is just making it harder for me because he isn't learning to put himself to sleep but he won't be this little for long.

I said all that to say, I don't mind 3am as much when I'm rocking my sweet sweet baby to sleep so if they continue, I probably won't complain too much. Love my sweet Pax.

That's love

Paxton has just started doing something that just melts my heart. When I hold him in my lap or lean over him when he is laying on the floor, he will reach up with both hands and hold my face. It is the sweetest thing. Its like he's saying "I love you Mommy, let me just hold your face for a little while." The first time he did it, I was sitting in the recliner and I called to Brandon to look. Two chubby little hands held my cheeks while my heart doubled in size with love for this little boy. I know he'll do many more things like that over the next few years that will just make me fall in love all over again but that has got to be the sweetest thing ever. Brandon and I say all the time to one another that we are truly amazed at how much we can love one little person.

update on the life of a 4 month old

So this Saturday Paxton will be 4 months old- crazy! Here are some things my sweet baby boy can do:

-Paxton can now reach for and pick up a toy in his hand
-He can also hold (if but for just a brief moment) his bottle between both hands
-He has recently (as in the last 2 weeks) learned to spit... he will put his tongue in between his lips and spray spit everywhere. He thinks this is funny and also does this when he is frustrated... very cute, albeit, very wet
-He smiles ALL the time
-He LOVES jumping in his doorway bouncy seat and is a hoot to watch
-I think he laughs... its more like a huge smile while he gasps with delight but it kinda sounds like a little baby laugh to me =)
-He loves to stand up while someone holds him steady... sometimes you can't get the kid to sit down!
-Brittney said he rolled over once already but we can't get him to do it again... we're working on it. I think his tooshy is holding him back =)

Over Thanksgiving, I decided I wanted to feed Paxton rice cereal for the first time. I figured that everyone else was getting to eat really good, so why not include Pax? We were at my Mom's house and Mom held him while I fed him. I don't think he liked it. We mixed in a little applesauce but I don't think he quite has the motion with his tongue yet. Everything I've read says to wait about a week and try again to see when the baby understands what to do with food in his mouth. So, the other night we tried again. We were so proud of ourselves because we rigged up Paxton's swing so that he was sitting upright (since we don't have a highchair or bumbo seat with tray yet) and once again... fail. Here are some pictures from my phone of our second attempt at rice cereal. They are quite funny... enjoy:

"Mom, not this again..."
"Dad, can't you help a brotha out here?"

"Is she really shoving this into my mouth, AGAIN?"

"Maybe if I keep spitting it out, she'll put some sugar in it"

"I might actually have to resort to crying if she doesn't get that I DON'T LIKE RICE CEREAL!"