Over the last year, I feel as though I've been stretched and grown more than I have been in a long time. I've also felt more self-aware and in tune with what I'm feeling and how God is speaking to me.
One thing I've been trying to put my finger on is a feeling that I've had over the last few weeks. See, I have close friends who have recently had miscarriages. I have friends whose marriages are struggling and rocky. I have friends recently diagnosed with cancer. I have friends dealing with loss, and one of my friends was just given the news that the doctors have nothing more they can do for her mom, who is dying with cancer.
I've cried tears - at times doing the "ugly cry" - for these friends. My heart aches. My mind can't stop thinking about how they're hurting. My thoughts run into prayers and my prayers into begging. I feel exposed and vulnerable... raw.
My heart feels raw with the hurt I feel for these friends. It stings to think about them again... because, well, I'm raw. I want so desperately to ease their hurt, to ease their fears, to come up with the right words.
The verse that comes to mind is Lamentations 3:22-23:
"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
Because while I can't bring back those precious babies, or take the cancer away, or heal the hurt, God won't allow us to be consumed. It won't ever be too much. It might feel like too much at times, but as dark as it seems, morning always comes, and with morning comes new mercies!
To my sweet girlfriends who have experienced loss in a way that breaks my heart, hold on loves, God is cradling you in His arms and asking you to let Him comfort you and be strength supernatural.
To my dear friend whose mom is sick and facing death, find rest in Him. He knows that this feels like too much to bear, but the beauty in this tragedy is that He is molding you and shaping you to endure whatever this long road may entail. You are stronger than you realize, and you are loved more than you know. Your friends cry tears of sorrow and anguish for you, and we are begging God for mercy on your behalf.
To my friends with rocky marriages, with despair in your hearts and sadness in your eyes, lean on Him, for He will direct your paths. Christ intends for us to have life and life abundantly so seek His guidance in restoring your love for one another.
Oh friends, my cheeks are wet with tears once again, as I feel hopeless to help. I hope I can adequately put feet to my emotions, because I desperately want to walk with you during your time of pain, of sorrow, or of grief.
Maybe one day, this won't feel so raw.
