A big ole fat chocolate milkshake

Today at work, there was a health fair. I found out my cholesterol, my blood pressure, my bmi, my waist size, and my weight. My weight... Ahh yes, this numerical enemy that haunts every female, especially after giving birth. I have to be honest. I got on the scale and hollered out loud because I realized that for the first time since bringing little Paxton into this world, I am at my pre-pregnancy weight! And since I obviously had to explain the loud explosion, the lady working the "weigh in station" said, "well gosh, I guess you'll be excited to know that most people are saying consistently that this scale is 3 pounds off... so you're actually 3 pounds lighter than that!"

WOOHOO! Not that I've been really stressed over it because I'm breastfeeding and that truly has been the best diet ever, but I was wondering when I'd reach my pre-pregnancy weight. And for those of you faithful readers (probably only my mom and my sister-in-law haha!) if you remember, before we started trying to get pregnant, I lost 10 pounds, so I am actaully lighter than I had been for a few years straight! YAY!

All this to say... I'm celebtrating the realization that I now weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight... with a BIG OLE FAT CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE! (seriously, I am).

HE'S CRAWLING!!

Ok folks! PAXTON IS OFFICIALLY CRAWLING!!! My kid is mobile! Ahhh, he's growing up way too fast!

Brain Dump

So because I haven't blogged in foreverrrr, I thought I'd just do a brain dump of everything that's going on. Keep your arms and legs inside at all times and hold on tight because here we go!

• my little brother popped the question... congrats Josh and Christa =) so excited for you two, I hope you love and respect each other for all the rest of your days and wish nothing less than a lifetime of adoration for one another and happiness.


• i've discovered flavor-blasted goldfish (thanks to my coworker, Kelly)- if you haven't ever tried them... DO! Disclaimer: if you don't want to add a new addiction in your life, DON'T! They are delish...and really do have flavor packed in them!! haha


• we cleaned out my car (finally... I live out of my vehicle, bad I know, but a direct result of such a busy life!!) and went to one of those car wash joints where they roll your car through the washing thingy and then all these little boys (well not little really, more like high school and college aged guys) run around and wipe off all the water and then clean the inside for you too. It was my first time at one of these kinds of car wash places and such a learning experience. Fun fact: did you know that no one drives your car through the washing part? It is pushed by little roller thingys.


• Paxton now eats baby food like a champ! He has eaten (and LOVED!) sweet potatoes, pears, peaches, and bananas. At night, I mix in rice cereal in hopes that it will sit in his tummy a little longer and we can all sleep a little more.


• I have successfully unsuccessfully tried to sleep train Paxton 3 times now. The wildly crazy thing is that I sort of like getting up in the middle of the night with him. I know, I MUST be out of mind (kind of like how I kinda sorta maybe might miss being pregnant, even though I swore I would never ever say that since I was so nauseas and so fat) but I'm not saying I don't miss my sleep, I'm just saying that there's something special about cuddling with my baby when all of the world is sleeping... after he's back asleep, I usually hold him and kiss his face all over and contemplate sleeping the rest of the night in the rocker, holding him on my chest... then gently lay him back in his crib.


• Paxton can now roll from back to tummy to back (to tummy to back to tummy to back... all across the living room floor)


• I got a new job, maybe one day I'll share this crazy story


• Paxton weighed 21lbs 8 oz at his doctors appointment 2 weeks ago... crazy kid!


• My neice, Collyn, was put in the PICU last week because she had RSV and was having trouble breathing. Thank the Lord she is home and doing MUCH better. She is only 3 weeks old and I love her.


• If anyone was worried about my pre-pregnancy twizzler addiction... don't worry, its back. In full force. Like, I have a "family-size" bag in my purse as we speak. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I'm almost there =)


• Did I tell you I hurt my foot this past fall? Not sure how and not exactly sure when but I was in one of those fabulously fashionable black orthopaedic boots for 9 weeks... and it still hurts. I've got to go back to the doctor before it gets warm out because i'm going to want to run and right now, I want to just cry.


• I love my husband more now than I ever have before.


• I also love my ipad (bahahaha, inside joke that only Brandon will get)

3am and a rocking chair

Have I mentioned before that Paxton has slept through the night 9 hours before? Well, when I started back to work, the little guy started waking up a couple of times throughout the night. Ironic, huh?, that this started happening when I was no longer able to nap during the day and needed the sleep... eh, oh well, I've pretty much gotten used to the lack of sleep. Well lately Paxton will wake up twice during the night, I'll nurse him (because its the easiest and quickest way to get him back to sleep) and he'll go right back to sleep and so will I. Some nights, however, he will wake up 5 times. Yes, 5. Yes, this is averages out to be almost once an hour or so. Yes, I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d the next day. But, ya know, even though I am exhausted and get so frustrated during those nights when he wakes up multiple times, rocking him to sleep is one of my favorite things to do in life. There are times when he nurses and doesnt go right back to sleep and I try to put him in his crib and he just cries. I would too, if someone I loved and trusted so much put me down by myself in the dark. One of the books I'm reading on helping him sleep through the night compared it to this: What if you went to sleep all warm and cozy in your bed with your spouse and woke up by yourself on the kitchen floor with no pillow or blanket.Thinking about it that way makes me want to cuddle him for as long as possible and make sure that he's asleep when I put him in his crib. I know this is just making it harder for me because he isn't learning to put himself to sleep but he won't be this little for long.

I said all that to say, I don't mind 3am as much when I'm rocking my sweet sweet baby to sleep so if they continue, I probably won't complain too much. Love my sweet Pax.

That's love

Paxton has just started doing something that just melts my heart. When I hold him in my lap or lean over him when he is laying on the floor, he will reach up with both hands and hold my face. It is the sweetest thing. Its like he's saying "I love you Mommy, let me just hold your face for a little while." The first time he did it, I was sitting in the recliner and I called to Brandon to look. Two chubby little hands held my cheeks while my heart doubled in size with love for this little boy. I know he'll do many more things like that over the next few years that will just make me fall in love all over again but that has got to be the sweetest thing ever. Brandon and I say all the time to one another that we are truly amazed at how much we can love one little person.

update on the life of a 4 month old

So this Saturday Paxton will be 4 months old- crazy! Here are some things my sweet baby boy can do:

-Paxton can now reach for and pick up a toy in his hand
-He can also hold (if but for just a brief moment) his bottle between both hands
-He has recently (as in the last 2 weeks) learned to spit... he will put his tongue in between his lips and spray spit everywhere. He thinks this is funny and also does this when he is frustrated... very cute, albeit, very wet
-He smiles ALL the time
-He LOVES jumping in his doorway bouncy seat and is a hoot to watch
-I think he laughs... its more like a huge smile while he gasps with delight but it kinda sounds like a little baby laugh to me =)
-He loves to stand up while someone holds him steady... sometimes you can't get the kid to sit down!
-Brittney said he rolled over once already but we can't get him to do it again... we're working on it. I think his tooshy is holding him back =)

Over Thanksgiving, I decided I wanted to feed Paxton rice cereal for the first time. I figured that everyone else was getting to eat really good, so why not include Pax? We were at my Mom's house and Mom held him while I fed him. I don't think he liked it. We mixed in a little applesauce but I don't think he quite has the motion with his tongue yet. Everything I've read says to wait about a week and try again to see when the baby understands what to do with food in his mouth. So, the other night we tried again. We were so proud of ourselves because we rigged up Paxton's swing so that he was sitting upright (since we don't have a highchair or bumbo seat with tray yet) and once again... fail. Here are some pictures from my phone of our second attempt at rice cereal. They are quite funny... enjoy:

"Mom, not this again..."
"Dad, can't you help a brotha out here?"

"Is she really shoving this into my mouth, AGAIN?"

"Maybe if I keep spitting it out, she'll put some sugar in it"

"I might actually have to resort to crying if she doesn't get that I DON'T LIKE RICE CEREAL!"

What little Aiden made me thankful for

I thought it appropriate to write about being thankful since tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. I'm thankful for this healthy, happy family I am lucky enough to call my own. The best way I can illustrate my thankfulness is through a story...

Last thursday was the annual Children's Promise Radiothon to raise money for the NC Children's Hospital. During the Radiothon, different country artists perform and visit with some of the children in the hospital. Jason Michael Carroll is an artist who comes every year and he's a fairly big name country star so I look forward to his performance each year. This year, I had been on my feet since 4:15am and his performance was at 3:00pm so when I arrived in the lobby, I looked for a seat. There was one row of 5 chairs at the back of the seating where 4 of the seats were empty, and one seat was taken by a mother holding a tiny baby boy who was hooked up to an IV pole. His wagon and IV pole were beside the mother. I sat in the chair on the far end. As I looked at her, something strange came over me and feeling like someone else had taken over my body, I scooted one chair closer and asked the mother "How old is your baby?" "Aiden is 18 months" she replied and we began to talk, me about my new baby and she, about her 18 month journey with the tiny boy who was over a year older than my son, yet the same size, and not nearly as advanced as Paxton. "How long have you been in the hospital?" I asked her. "This time..." and after a pause and thinking about her answer she replied "3 months." I felt the tears surging toward my eyes and I struggled to push them away. She told me that she found herself in NC because in Florida, where she's from, there are only 2 nephrologists in the whole state, and since Aiden is in kidney failure, she packed her life up and moved to where the best help could be found. Little Aiden has cerebal palsy and is weighed daily, because once he reaches 20 pounds, he can become eligible for a kidney transplant.

After talking with Aiden's mom for 15 minutes or so, Jason Michael Carroll made his way to the stage to sing but I could barely hear through the tears that threatened to flood my face. All I could think about was how Aiden had made me so overwhelmingly grateful for my healthy, happy baby. Not that I wasn't grateful before, but Aiden made me realize just how lucky I am and how different things could be.

Kiss your children a little more tonight and watch them while they sleep, and count yourself blessed that you spent the last 3 months at home, and not in the hospital. Pray for Aiden and his mommy, because if it were me, I know I would need showers of prayer to get through that trial.

Thank you, Aiden, and Happy Thanksgiving.