3am and a rocking chair

Have I mentioned before that Paxton has slept through the night 9 hours before? Well, when I started back to work, the little guy started waking up a couple of times throughout the night. Ironic, huh?, that this started happening when I was no longer able to nap during the day and needed the sleep... eh, oh well, I've pretty much gotten used to the lack of sleep. Well lately Paxton will wake up twice during the night, I'll nurse him (because its the easiest and quickest way to get him back to sleep) and he'll go right back to sleep and so will I. Some nights, however, he will wake up 5 times. Yes, 5. Yes, this is averages out to be almost once an hour or so. Yes, I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d the next day. But, ya know, even though I am exhausted and get so frustrated during those nights when he wakes up multiple times, rocking him to sleep is one of my favorite things to do in life. There are times when he nurses and doesnt go right back to sleep and I try to put him in his crib and he just cries. I would too, if someone I loved and trusted so much put me down by myself in the dark. One of the books I'm reading on helping him sleep through the night compared it to this: What if you went to sleep all warm and cozy in your bed with your spouse and woke up by yourself on the kitchen floor with no pillow or blanket.Thinking about it that way makes me want to cuddle him for as long as possible and make sure that he's asleep when I put him in his crib. I know this is just making it harder for me because he isn't learning to put himself to sleep but he won't be this little for long.

I said all that to say, I don't mind 3am as much when I'm rocking my sweet sweet baby to sleep so if they continue, I probably won't complain too much. Love my sweet Pax.

That's love

Paxton has just started doing something that just melts my heart. When I hold him in my lap or lean over him when he is laying on the floor, he will reach up with both hands and hold my face. It is the sweetest thing. Its like he's saying "I love you Mommy, let me just hold your face for a little while." The first time he did it, I was sitting in the recliner and I called to Brandon to look. Two chubby little hands held my cheeks while my heart doubled in size with love for this little boy. I know he'll do many more things like that over the next few years that will just make me fall in love all over again but that has got to be the sweetest thing ever. Brandon and I say all the time to one another that we are truly amazed at how much we can love one little person.