3am and a rocking chair

Have I mentioned before that Paxton has slept through the night 9 hours before? Well, when I started back to work, the little guy started waking up a couple of times throughout the night. Ironic, huh?, that this started happening when I was no longer able to nap during the day and needed the sleep... eh, oh well, I've pretty much gotten used to the lack of sleep. Well lately Paxton will wake up twice during the night, I'll nurse him (because its the easiest and quickest way to get him back to sleep) and he'll go right back to sleep and so will I. Some nights, however, he will wake up 5 times. Yes, 5. Yes, this is averages out to be almost once an hour or so. Yes, I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d the next day. But, ya know, even though I am exhausted and get so frustrated during those nights when he wakes up multiple times, rocking him to sleep is one of my favorite things to do in life. There are times when he nurses and doesnt go right back to sleep and I try to put him in his crib and he just cries. I would too, if someone I loved and trusted so much put me down by myself in the dark. One of the books I'm reading on helping him sleep through the night compared it to this: What if you went to sleep all warm and cozy in your bed with your spouse and woke up by yourself on the kitchen floor with no pillow or blanket.Thinking about it that way makes me want to cuddle him for as long as possible and make sure that he's asleep when I put him in his crib. I know this is just making it harder for me because he isn't learning to put himself to sleep but he won't be this little for long.

I said all that to say, I don't mind 3am as much when I'm rocking my sweet sweet baby to sleep so if they continue, I probably won't complain too much. Love my sweet Pax.

That's love

Paxton has just started doing something that just melts my heart. When I hold him in my lap or lean over him when he is laying on the floor, he will reach up with both hands and hold my face. It is the sweetest thing. Its like he's saying "I love you Mommy, let me just hold your face for a little while." The first time he did it, I was sitting in the recliner and I called to Brandon to look. Two chubby little hands held my cheeks while my heart doubled in size with love for this little boy. I know he'll do many more things like that over the next few years that will just make me fall in love all over again but that has got to be the sweetest thing ever. Brandon and I say all the time to one another that we are truly amazed at how much we can love one little person.

update on the life of a 4 month old

So this Saturday Paxton will be 4 months old- crazy! Here are some things my sweet baby boy can do:

-Paxton can now reach for and pick up a toy in his hand
-He can also hold (if but for just a brief moment) his bottle between both hands
-He has recently (as in the last 2 weeks) learned to spit... he will put his tongue in between his lips and spray spit everywhere. He thinks this is funny and also does this when he is frustrated... very cute, albeit, very wet
-He smiles ALL the time
-He LOVES jumping in his doorway bouncy seat and is a hoot to watch
-I think he laughs... its more like a huge smile while he gasps with delight but it kinda sounds like a little baby laugh to me =)
-He loves to stand up while someone holds him steady... sometimes you can't get the kid to sit down!
-Brittney said he rolled over once already but we can't get him to do it again... we're working on it. I think his tooshy is holding him back =)

Over Thanksgiving, I decided I wanted to feed Paxton rice cereal for the first time. I figured that everyone else was getting to eat really good, so why not include Pax? We were at my Mom's house and Mom held him while I fed him. I don't think he liked it. We mixed in a little applesauce but I don't think he quite has the motion with his tongue yet. Everything I've read says to wait about a week and try again to see when the baby understands what to do with food in his mouth. So, the other night we tried again. We were so proud of ourselves because we rigged up Paxton's swing so that he was sitting upright (since we don't have a highchair or bumbo seat with tray yet) and once again... fail. Here are some pictures from my phone of our second attempt at rice cereal. They are quite funny... enjoy:

"Mom, not this again..."
"Dad, can't you help a brotha out here?"

"Is she really shoving this into my mouth, AGAIN?"

"Maybe if I keep spitting it out, she'll put some sugar in it"

"I might actually have to resort to crying if she doesn't get that I DON'T LIKE RICE CEREAL!"

What little Aiden made me thankful for

I thought it appropriate to write about being thankful since tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. I'm thankful for this healthy, happy family I am lucky enough to call my own. The best way I can illustrate my thankfulness is through a story...

Last thursday was the annual Children's Promise Radiothon to raise money for the NC Children's Hospital. During the Radiothon, different country artists perform and visit with some of the children in the hospital. Jason Michael Carroll is an artist who comes every year and he's a fairly big name country star so I look forward to his performance each year. This year, I had been on my feet since 4:15am and his performance was at 3:00pm so when I arrived in the lobby, I looked for a seat. There was one row of 5 chairs at the back of the seating where 4 of the seats were empty, and one seat was taken by a mother holding a tiny baby boy who was hooked up to an IV pole. His wagon and IV pole were beside the mother. I sat in the chair on the far end. As I looked at her, something strange came over me and feeling like someone else had taken over my body, I scooted one chair closer and asked the mother "How old is your baby?" "Aiden is 18 months" she replied and we began to talk, me about my new baby and she, about her 18 month journey with the tiny boy who was over a year older than my son, yet the same size, and not nearly as advanced as Paxton. "How long have you been in the hospital?" I asked her. "This time..." and after a pause and thinking about her answer she replied "3 months." I felt the tears surging toward my eyes and I struggled to push them away. She told me that she found herself in NC because in Florida, where she's from, there are only 2 nephrologists in the whole state, and since Aiden is in kidney failure, she packed her life up and moved to where the best help could be found. Little Aiden has cerebal palsy and is weighed daily, because once he reaches 20 pounds, he can become eligible for a kidney transplant.

After talking with Aiden's mom for 15 minutes or so, Jason Michael Carroll made his way to the stage to sing but I could barely hear through the tears that threatened to flood my face. All I could think about was how Aiden had made me so overwhelmingly grateful for my healthy, happy baby. Not that I wasn't grateful before, but Aiden made me realize just how lucky I am and how different things could be.

Kiss your children a little more tonight and watch them while they sleep, and count yourself blessed that you spent the last 3 months at home, and not in the hospital. Pray for Aiden and his mommy, because if it were me, I know I would need showers of prayer to get through that trial.

Thank you, Aiden, and Happy Thanksgiving.

Paxton's almost 3 months old!

Whoa! Scuse me? I'm looking for the past 3 months... yes, could you help me find them because apparently they DISAPPEARED! Yes, cheesy or not, I cannot believe that my little baby will be three months old in a week! 12 weeks ago exactly I was laying in a hospital bed cuddling my baby boy for the first time and I made the mistake of blinking because suddenly here we are, 3 months later. My mom told me not to blink because it goes by so quickly and she was right.

To update you, since apparently blogging as a mommy is much more difficult than blogging with no kid (due to my strong desire to spend every waking moment with Paxton, not concerned with whether the sun rises or sets, I ever brush my teeth, or I blog another post... ok, I'm joking, I still brush my teeth), here are the stats on my sweet baby boy. Pax is, as of his 2 month appointment- which was actually when he was 10 weeks old-, 14lbs 9ozs. Yes, I did just tell you that my almost 3 month old is almost 15 pounds. And yes, that is VERY heavy for an almost 3 month old. And yes, I can almost not pick him up anymore. Kidding. But seriously, this kid is built like a linebacker... which, by the way, I hope he never is because I can't stand the thought of my baby getting hurt. So Paxton, if you are reading this is 2020 or at some time thereafter, please choose soccer or basketball or golf or baseball as your sport of choice. I know, I know, kids get hurt in all of those sports but in football, kids break their necks. Literally. If I had time, I would find the story I just recently saw on the news of a highschooler who broke his neck in football practice. Eeek! Not my kid, LORD, not my kid!

Anywho, back to the hoss (is that how you spell that?). We basically skipped 3 month onesies. I mean, he wore a few, but he's seriously sporting 6 month clothes. omg. Where did my tiny baby go? In other news, I can carry him on my hip like a toddler sometimes (I usually don't since I want to craddle him like the baby he is) and his hair is growing back on top. He sports 2 of the cutest chins I've ever seen... yeah a double chin and his cheeks are super fat and pinchable.

Learning to laugh

So I thought I would share with you a sweet sweet video of my baby boy trying to laugh and in doing so I started thinking about life a little... First things first... here's the video:

How many times in life are we encouraged to try something new, something we aren't quite sure about, and then praised no matter what the outcome is? Every time Paxton tries to laugh and doesn't quite figure it out, I just laugh and encourage him to keep trying. I thought about my mom when I saw this video, because my mom always encouraged me to do anything I put my mind to. In fact, she would tell me that I COULD do it, I was CAPABLE, that I WOULD accomplish that thing, whatever it may be. Thanks to my mom, I've accomplished a lot in my short life. I never knew just how valuable that encouragement was until I had Paxton. Now I find myself encouraging him constantly... even though these things are about learning to talk, learning to smile, learning to stand, learning to laugh.

So if you've been doubting yourself lately, let me encourage you, too... because I know you can... learn to laugh.

A coincidence? I say a miracle =)

So a while back I posted about us going through something that I was trusting God to handle. Well, that something was a financial struggle. The church always seems to see a decline in the summer and this summer was particularly tough. Tadd finaly came to the staff and asked if they would consider taking no paychecks or half paychecks. I wasn't too worried about it, even with a baby on the way, because I knew we were faithful in our finances and that we wouldn't starve. Well, one month turned into two, turned into three, into four. Here we are in October still talking about half paychecks, if we're lucky to get one at all. Last week was really the first week I started to worry. Why did I even start to worry in the first place? I know not to doubt God's mighty power yet I still let a dark corner of doubt creep into the back of my mind. However, just when I let that happen, God clapped His hands and said, "Here, child, trust Me. Let me show you just how I roll." (Maybe God doesn't say "roll", maybe He does =). I found out at work that day that we were just approved for our employee incentive program- a bonus- and our market increase- a raise. I don't know yet if I am one of the job classes that will have their salary raised to market BUT I also realized something else that day. In September, it just so happens to work out that I get 3 paychecks (because there are 5 Wednesdays) and on the 3rd paycheck, insurance costs are not taken out of my check. The amount of the extra salary from not taking out the benefits pay for insurance plus my bonus happens to equal Brandon's paycheck that we aren't getting. I'm talking within a hundred dollars. God is good. He said to let Him do His thang and boy did He! That'll teach me to waver!! Geez! So, don't worry, we aren't going hungry this month and the bills are all getting paid. Don't ship us to the poorhouse just yet =)

Bathtime!

Paxton's expressions during bathtime crack me up... enjoy! =)
Oh, and I'm not sure how to blur out his little "wee-wee" so beware that this is uncensored! =)

My sweet baby boy

I thought I would share some of the pictures of my sweet angel baby. These are only the pictures from my phone so stay tuned for the ones from my camera later =)

This is one of the first pictures of my sweet baby boy. He is hanging out in his bassinet.

Paxton had to go under the (tanning bed) lights while we were in the hospital...

We could only take him out from under the lights for a few minutes and this is Daddy trying to calm him down since he didn't like being naked in the bassient by himself...So... we ended up having to hold him and put the light over both of us in the bed!

Paxton's first car ride!Grandma is completely in love =)Pax was napping one day and Brandon and I saw that he had raised his arm in his sleep and his sleeve stayed like that the rest of the time he slept! Too cute!!Uncle Josh holding Paxton... Josh says he can't wait til Pax is big enough to play ball =)
Mommy and Paxton! I love his eyes!

He loves tummy time! Here he's holding his little rear end up in the air and using his strong strong legs!=)He was able to hold his head up like this very early on... he was only 3 weeks old here...Tummy time still... isn't his expression adorable?!He was sporting his super cute BabyGap pants here and fell asleep like this during dinner...He seems fascinated with the animals on his swing! Too cute!

Paxton Bennett is here!

I guess since its been over a month since he was born, I ought to go ahead and announce it on my blog: Paxton Bennett Delk is here!! I want to write my birth story partly for those who read my blog but mostly so I don't forget any bit of the experience of the entrance of my first child into this world. So here goes...

I was due August 1st, 2010 and everyone my entire pregnancy told me there was "no way I'd make it to August." I agreed with them all. I thought I was huge already by July so the thought of going another month was just awful. Not to mention, at one of my ultrasounds I was told that if he went to his due date he would mostly likely be an 8.5 or 9 pound baby. O-M-G. I was freeeeaking out at the thought of birthing that big of a baby. Thursday July 29th, I started having contractions, or what I thought might be contractions. They weren't coming at regular intervals and stopped after a while. August 1st was a Sunday this year and my mom's birthday is July 30th. She's been asking me my whole pregnancy to have the baby on her birthday because it would be the best birthday present ever. I told her I would do what I could =) Well, my mom and brother came to visit us (since we couldn't travel that close to my due date) for her birthday and they got here on Friday, July 30th and totally expected to be spending the weekend in the hospital for the birth of her grandson and his nephew. Friday night we ate at Olive Garden for Mom's birthday and then went to Dairy Queen for blizzards, YUM! No baby. Saturday night I started having contractions and we all got really excited because we thought all the walking we did while shopping that day might have put me into labor. I sat in the nursery in the glider where I would soon rock my child and we timed the contractions. They hurt, but compared to what was to come, they were nothing. Mom suggested I go to bed to try and get some sleep in case I was going into labor. When I went to bed, I was able to go to sleep and woke up very, very disappointed. We went to church and I answered a hundred times, that "yes, I do look like I'm due any day, because I AM due TODAY!" Then we went to eat at a stir-fry restaurant where you create your own stir-fry and I put in chili powder, hot sauce, and cayenne pepper... yes, I was trying the old wives tale out that if you eat spicy foods, you'll go into labor. It didn't work. Mom and Josh left and went back to Virginia. I was so disappointed but then I told Brandon that if I didn't go into labor that week that I wanted to ask the doctor if he would induce me the following Sunday night so that I would most likely have the baby on Monday, August 9th or as Brandon and I were thinking of it; 8-9-10. What a cool birthday that would have been.

Well I went to bed Sunday night so disappointed and woke up with a start Monday morning at 7:16 from a painful contraction. I caught my breath, afraid to get too excited but knowing that was a true contraction. I waited a few minutes and tried to go back to sleep, only to have another contraction 7 minutes later. Then 7 more minutes passed and I had another contraction. At that point, we were too excited to lay in bed anymore. I told Brandon I was going to get in the shower and he started packing his bag for the hospital. We started making phone calls and I called Mom to let her know I was having contractions but that we weren't going to the hospital yet because the contractions were only around 7 minutes apart and about 60-70 seconds long. Then they started to come around 6 minutes apart. Brittney got to our house around 9 and helped me straighten my hair. Around 10am, I called my doctor's office and asked what I should do. She said that if I had been having contractions anywhere between 5-7 minutes apart for more than an hour, that I needed to go to the hospital. I asked if I could eat anything because I didn't feel like eating at first, but by this time I was starving and knew I would need some energy for labor. I was told not to eat. I had been having them for 3 hours so we finished packing and loaded up the car. We arrived at the hospital around 10:35, checked in through the emergency room, and were taken right up to the Labor and Delivery Unit and put in a large room. I got changed into a gown and got settled into the bed. My nurse, Kelly, came in and put the monitors on me, one to measure my contractions, and one to monitor the baby's heartbeat. She checked to see if I was dilated and I was dilated to 2 centimeters. Bummer. I was disappointed it wasn't more than that. Then the waiting game began. My contractions weren't coming very regularly but when they did come, they were off the chart on the print out. Mom and Josh arrived BACK from Virginia, cameras and overnight bags in hand. Mom did some work while we waited and then Kelly came in and said that I should try walking around for a little bit and that the baby wasn't quite responding to contractions like she wanted. This was a little scary to hear but she said that there wasn't anything to be concerned about just yet. When she took the monitors off and fixed my gown so I could walk, she said "Ok, see you back here in an hour." An HOUR?! Wow, ok... I started walking. The L&D unit and the new mother unit both went in a loop and Brittney, Brandon and I started walking in circles. An hour passed and my contractions didn't seem any stronger or more consistent. After I got back from walking, Kelly checked and I was only dilated about a half a centimeter more. Around 2:30 the midwife on call came to ultrasound me to try and "find a reason to induce me." I liked that thinking. I was excited and ready to have a baby. No reason to induce so they told me I "could stay and see if things picked up, or go home and be more comfortable while labor progressed, if it did that day." I talked it over with Brandon and we felt that because I was given the option to go home, that I should. I was worried about the extra cost of that visit and the fact that Mom and Josh had both taken a day off work AND driven AGAIN from Virginia (they hadn't even been in VA for 24 hours yet!) but I knew that the nurse and the midwife thought I should leave, so we did. I was told I could eat something but only light food in the event that my contractions picked up later. We left the hospital around 4:15 and went to O'Charley's because I wanted their potato soup and rolls. After we ate, we went home and changed into t-shirts, shorts and tennis shoes because I wanted to walk this baby out. It was roughly 97 degrees but Brittney, Brandon, Mom, Josh and I all started walking. We walked a mile through the neighborhood, and I had to go inside for some water and because my stomach was upset. I was excited about that because I had read and heard that when you go into labor, your body tries to clean itself out first. I sat down on the big exercise ball that we had bought specifically for my pregnancy and Brittney massaged my back for a while. Then Drill Sgt Bowen and Drill Sgt Delk said it was time to walk again =) Brandon and Brittney definitely pushed me to keep going. Every time I got a contraction I would slow down and I would feel a hand on my back pushing me forward. My contractions were DEFINITELY stronger. After mile number 2, I needed another bottle of water and to sit down again. We were all sweating and I was having some very strong contractions. Mom was timing the length and frequency of the contractions on her phone and they were getting longer and closer together the more we walked. Then it was time to walk again. We walked another mile and I was about to fall over from the contractions. I was in some serious pain. I looked at my family and said that I thought it was time to go but that I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. I wasn't going to the hospital until I was ABSOLUTELY sure I was in labor.

We decided to get showered and everyone (except for me) was hungry so Brandon and Josh ran out to Sonic to get something to eat. I got in the shower and kept yelling out when each contraction would begin and end so Mom and Brittney could keep track of how long and how often they were coming. I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes for about 70-90 seconds each. In the shower, I would quickly try to wash between contractions because when a contraction would hit, I could barely stand. It took forever to shower because I had to stop washing when a contraction came and by the end of it, I was crying. I needed help getting out of the shower and drying off and when Brandon got me dried off, I just stood there and cried while he held me. The tears were a mixture of "oh my gosh, this hurts so bad" and "Oh my gosh, do I have it in me to do this?" and "oh my gosh, I get to meet my son soon!" I gathered myself together after a few minutes and got dressed. Then while everyone else frantically tried to scarf down the food Brandon and Josh had brought back, Brittney straightened my hair- because even though I was in "near-death" pain every 3 minutes, I was still thinking clearly enough to know that pictures would be taken =) Once my hair was straightened, we got in the car and raced to the hospital. I wasn't sure I'd make it there. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was in labor and that I was dilated more than a 2. We got in the ER and were getting checked in when I started to have a contraction. I semi-freaked out because I didn't want to have a contraction in front of the waiting room full of strange people. Brittney wheeled me to the side and they got me into the triage room real quick. Now I knew that when I came to the hospital earlier that morning that those contractions were about a 5 on the pain scale and that THESE contractions were a 9 or 10. We got put in a room on the L&D unit and my new nurse put the monitors on me and checked me. I was dilated to a 4. She asked if I wanted something for pain and I said "yes, please." Everyone had asked me throughout my pregnancy if I was going to have an epidural and I had said that I was going to decide when I was going into labor because if I thought I could do it without pain meds I would, but I also knew I wanted to "enjoy" giving birth to my first baby and that I wanted to have more than 1 child so I figured that if I needed an epidural, I would get one. Part of me wanted to do it without one because my mom did, but then someone told me something that made me feel better about deciding to get an epidural. They told me that no one comes to the hospital with a trophy or a medal if you give birth without an epidural. So, my nurse put an IV in my arm and gave me some pain medication and I INSTANTLY felt much better... and quite loopy. Apparently I said some funny things according to Brandon and Brittney. I wasn't loopy for long and the pain medicine didn't help the contractions as much as I first thought so I asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist came in and I wasn't even scared. I've never been scared of needles but everyone tells you how big the epidural needle is but I didn't even think a thought about it. I was concentrating on not moving while he was inserting a needle into my back and looking forward to not feeling like my ab muscles were being ripped from my body. After my epidural, I could barely feel the contractions. I still felt the movement of them, but I didn't feel the pain anymore. They started me on pitocin so that I would dilate more and put a catheter in (because they said that I wouldn't be able to feel when my bladder was full). I was scared to have a catheter but they assured me I wouldn't be able to feel it. My nurse suggested we all get settled in and try to get some sleep while the pitocin did its job so my mom slept in one chair, Joan in another, and Brandon slept on the little couch in the room. Brittney and Josh were camped out in the waiting room.

It was about midnight at this point and I tried to sleep but I could feel my catheter the whole time and it felt like my bladder was very full and I couldn't empty it. I finally pushed the call button and asked my nurse, Sandra, to come check my catheter. She said that it was draining fine and checked and I was dilated to an 8 at this point. I was so excited and still felt uncomfortable from the catheter so I definitely couldn't sleep now. I waited a little longer and pushed the call button again because I thought my water broke. It hadn't and this time, I was dilated to a 9 and the nurse said she was going to get the midwife to come in and see if she could break my water. The midwife came in and broke my water and when she did, she saw that there was meconium in it. This is a fancy term for "the baby pooped in the womb." Once the midwife saw this, she told us that "this changes things a little bit" and continued to explain to us that when the baby is born, she would have to clamp and cut the cord so they could suction him right away before he cried so he wouldn't breathe any of the meconium into his lungs. She said that a team of pediatricians would be standing by to make sure that he was breathing ok. I don't recall internalizing this information very much at the time because afterwards Brandon told me how nervous he was but I think I was focused more on other things. After the midwife broke my water, she asked if I felt like I had to push. I wasn't really sure at that point but I was ready to go and I tried pushing. Once I finally got the hang of it- for those of you who have had kids, you know that it takes a few tries and some coaching to really get the feel for pushing the right way- I was really feeling the urge to push and I was feeling very very awake for it being 4:00 in the morning. I was a little nervous because I could move my legs and feel them and I thought that with an epidural I wouldn't be able to. Then once I started pushing, I could feel pain and I was very scared. I kept saying "I can't believe how much it hurts with an epidural!" The midwife kept telling me "its just pressure you feel." I didn't believe her. Why? Because I'm 26 years old and I've lived in this body for that long and I know the difference between "pressure" and "pain." Let me tell you... I was in some PAIN. The epidural blocked the contractions, but not the pain when I started to deliver. Every time I pushed, I freaked out because it hurt so bad. And by freaked out I mean panic attacked/hyperventilated. After the first few pushes, I looked at Brandon and made him promise to help me not hyperventilate. After about 15-20 minutes, the midwife, nurse, and Brandon could see his head crowning. There was a certain point I remember thinking "I'm in so much pain I don't know that I can do this but there is no turning back... no... turning... back..." I felt so hopeless. I honestly wasn't sure how I could survive being in that much pain. During each push my nurse would count to 10 and coach me to push for that long and then take a quick breath and push again. It was very helpful and soothing to hear "1, 2, 3,4 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10." However, on the other hand, my midwife made me feel like a nervous wreck. She said things like "Its just like a freight train coming through there" and "Its like pushing a bowling ball out of you." Those comments made me so mad. Every time she would say something stupid like that, I would purposely grunt/breathe loudly to try and drown her annoying voice out. I'm not being mean, I'm just telling how I felt at the time. All those pushes when his head would crown, either the nurse or the midwife would rub/massage the area around it and that was so terribly painful because you see, I had a "partial block" which means that my epidural blocked only part of the pain. All of my contractions were blocked, but when I started pushing, I could feel everything from the hips down. I wish it had been the other way around. I mean, obviously I wish the epidural had worked like it was supposed to but if I had to choose, I would have suffered through the contractions to have not felt the pain I felt while pushing my son out. At some point Brandon started to gag because he couldn't stand to see me in so much pain. I remember semi-freaking out and telling him to go ahead and throw up to get it over with because I wasn't going to be able to deal with him vomiting while I was pushing. The midwife had him sit down and Brandon's mom came to hold my leg- the one Brandon had been holding. I'll leave out the gruesome details but the long and short of the delivery is that I felt myself start to tear and I knew I couldn't handle the pain any longer so I gave one last big push and pushed Paxton out all at once. Every birth video I'd watched showed the head being birthed and then suctioning the baby's nose and then the doctor or midwife helping to birth the shoulders. Not so with me. I pushed him out all at once. I could not even believe the amount of pain I'd just endured. In fact, I didn't even realize that the midwife had placed Paxton on my stomach while she clamped and cut the cord. When I did realize it, I reached out to touch him but he was being whisked away to be suctioned and tended to by the pediatrician. Because Paxton started to cry right away, Brandon was overcome with fear because the midwife had told us they needed to suction him before he cried to ensure that no meconium got into his lungs. Brandon buried his face into the white towel someone had given him and when I regained some sense of what was going on again, I realized this and that Joan was being led to sit down and someone was asking for a Sprite for her. She was sick because of seeing me tear. Now to put this into perspective, Joan has been a nurse for 28 years. She doesn't get sick over gruesome things, but this apparently did the trick. I was not comforted at all because I knew things had not gone the way they "should" have during the delivery.

I didn't get to hold my baby for what seemed like an eternity because he was across the room with the pediatrician and I was being stitched back together. When I finally did get to hold my Paxton Bennett, I cried... and cried... and cried. And cried some more. I counted his fingers. I looked into his sweet, sweet dark eyes. I ran my hand over his soft head of hair. I spent the next hour or so talking to my sweet boy and telling him how much I loved him and how I couldn't believe he was here. I was completely and utterly in love. I think I literally felt my heart swell with love for my newborn son.

Some of the details I didn't mention above but that are so vital to my birth story are these:

My mom fed me ice chips while I pushed because I felt like a cotton ball had been stuffed into my mouth. Joan, my mother-in-law, took pictures of the entire event. Brittney, my sister-in-law, manned the video camera. My brother came in after I was put back together and decent and took some incredible pictures, which I will post after this. My midwife asked 3 times throughout my labor and delivery what we were going to name the baby. Needless to say, the third time around we realized she really wasn't listening to us. In the hours and days after my delivery, I had an amazing experience in the hospital. The nurses were absolutely on top of their game and I felt so taken care of while I was there. The pediatric team was also wonderful. Paxton was jaundiced and had to go under the "tanning bed lights" but screamed his little head off when he was placed in the bassinet in just his diaper and his goggles. It was so pitiful that the nurse finally told me to scoot to the edge of the bed and hold him in my lap and she put the lights over top of both of us. Brandon changed Paxton's diapers in the hospital and did a great job. Brandon also was a machine for the first week of Paxton's life. He sacrificed so much to take care of me and Paxton. He didn't hardly sleep and was busy running here and there getting me what I needed since I couldn't hardly get out of bed. Brandon was amazing and I couldn't have done it without him. He encouraged me, he waited on me, he was loving to me, and he was so patient with him. I am so lucky to have 2 amazing boys.

Paxton was born at 4:34am on August 3rd, 2010 and weighed 7 lbs 7 ozs and was 21.5 inches long. When we left the hospital he had lost 7 ounces and then weighed 7.1 at his first doctor's appointment. He was born with medium brown hair and was very alert for his first hours out of the womb. He is such a good baby and mostly only cries when wet, hungry, or if he wants to be held.

I will post more pictures later.

Since I may have left out some details and this is so important to me to remember, I will edit this post as I recall details I don't want to forget so if you come back and read this later, I may have added some things.

We're so blessed

I just wanted to take a moment to pause and reflect on how blessed Brandon and I truly are. I just found out that someone else I know had a miscarriage. During the 38 weeks that I have been pregnant, that makes 3 people I know personally who have miscarried. I have been devastated for each of the 3 people and their families because I now understand almost completely the grief that must be overwhelming them. I say almost because I've never lost a baby before but I've carried mine for 38 weeks and I love him so intensely already that I know if I were to lose him, I wouldn't know how to carry on. I have spent the past 9 months of my life preparing for the entrance of this little wonder into our lives and I already feel like "Mommy" to little baby boy. I can't imagine that being stripped away from me before I ever got to meet him. My heart aches for the women I know who have lost their babies before they got to meet them. I find myself crying occasionally for the 2 families I knew before today that miscarried and I'm sure I will mourn for this new family as well. I don't want to mention them by name, but please pray for these 3 women and their spouses and families.



Besides being blessed to have carried my baby this far, Brandon and I are also so blessed by what God has chosen to give us. I know everyone has heard this phrase over and over and thinks it is probably so cliche, but "God's timing is perfect." I cling to this phrase during this phase in our lives because God has a funny way of coaxing you to trust Him. I don't need to go into details but we are facing uncertainty in some areas of our life and in the exact month we are expecting our first baby. I have no doubt that God will carry us through and also no doubt that we are being led through this during this exact time in our life because He wants us to trust him. He wants us to take Him by the hand and let him lead us into darker and darker surroundings until we are blind to what is around us and have to trust His Leading Hand. Frankly I'm not worried for once in my life. I have such a peace about our future that I have not given a second thought to whether we'll be ok or not... I just know we will be. Don't mistake this for arrogance. I have learned before that it is not up to me and Brandon or how hard we try... its about trusting God. In a way, I'm kind of excited that life is lining up the way it is... not that I would choose this way, but since its already been chosen for us, why not buckle up and sit back to enjoy the ride? I know this is all so vague and maybe one day I'll be able to tell you about it, but just know that Brandon and I are so blessed. If I had to count my blessings, I'd probably run out of time before I ran out of blessings.



I'm feeling so incredibly grateful for God's Providence in our lives that I just want to shout it from the rooftops. I have an amazing man who loves me and provides for me, a beautiful son on the way any day, a roof over my head every night, and all the luxuries I need.



Thank you Lord for all you've blessed my little family with. I hope I can honor You enough in my lifetime.

Maternity Pictures!

Ok, I'll try to put these up once we get a disc but for now you can go look at our maternity pictures here on the Big Star Studios website!

We had a BLAST during the shoot and the pictures turned out EXACTLY how we wanted. It is so refreshing to find a photographer who listens to what we wanted- even though I could hardly describe in words what it was exactly that we wanted our pictures to turn out like- and then to get the results back and they be PERFECT! We cannot believe how wonderful the pictures turned out and are so grateful to Emily and Garry for capturing this special moment in our lives, exactly the way we wanted it captured. This is so cliche but so true- "A picture says a thousand words"- and we are forever grateful to you both for documenting our first pregnancy, something that will take me far more than a thousand words to ever tell you about (as you can see from this blog!).

These pictures were taken when I was 36 weeks 6 days.

Calling all females...

Ok, I have made an observation throughout my pregnancy that I think could change the world. You think I'm joking. I am not. Since we all know that pregnant women have to use the bathroom a LOT, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I have used a LOT of public restrooms in the last 9 months. My observation is that most public restrooms are not equipped to handle a pregnant woman. If you have ever been pregnant and had to use a public restroom, you know what I'm talking about. For those of you who are either male, haven't been pregnant before, or have forgotten this inconvenience, let me tell you. I walk into a public restroom stall- where the door usually swings into the stall so you don't open the door outward onto someone else in the bathroom- and go to try and close the door. Here is where I encounter a problem. There is NO WHERE FOR MY BELLY TO GO. The first time this was an issue, I was so confused. I tried to close the door and my poor belly stood in between the stall door and the lock. Now, there are several options of solutions, however, most of these INVOLVE ACROBATICS!!!

1. I could either straddle the toilet and hope I drop nothing in the white throne while I attempt to close the door...Not a great choice for someone whose ligaments and joints are loosening and whose balance is completely out of whack.
2. I could stand on TOP of the seat to be able to close the door. Again, not a great option because one slip and I'm looking at my swollen ankle caught in half a foot of toilet water...
3. I can turn around and try to close the door behind my back and hope I can manage to keep my (also growing) rear out of the way while remaining upright. Sounds simple enough but add in a purse and any other objects I may be carrying (shopping bag, cell phone, keys, etc) and this quickly becomes very tricky as well.
4. I could lean back/squat over the toilet seat and close the door. This option is also very tricky because who wants to risk accidentally sitting on the toilet seat with their pants on (especially if the previous occupant has left a bit of a sprinkling surprise on the seat), and remember, add in a purse or other paraphernalia and this, too, is very tough to manage.

I'm sure you're wondering which option I choose to employ... Well it depends on HOW SMALL the stall actually is, but surprisingly, I use option number 4 most often. Even this results in a scrape cross my belly most of the time.

I think men designed these bathroom stalls. I think all women who are engineers/ architects need to come together and make a difference by making sure that all future bathroom stalls that are built or remodeled, have adequate room for a PREGNANT woman to use the bathroom. And by use the bathroom, I mean, just be able to get in there and close the door without major injury.

This may seem silly, but it has been a constant issue for me the last few months and I wanted to speak out. I may be forgetful, clumsy, and eat your dinner, but I have maintained some brain function and wanted to get this out there (before I forget, obviously).

You all have my permission to send this in to the editor of the newspaper.

=)

Amused...

I had to take a moment to write down some of the things that amuse me once I start to think about them...

You know, being pregnant is really like an alien is taking over my body. I've gone through all of these CRAZY changes including (but not limited to!!):

-my taste buds completely changing
-my sense of smell has heightened (and all my senses for that matter!)
-I've been nauseaus more hours than I can even count in the past 9 months
-my skin has stretched to the point where I thought for sure it must explode, rather than stretch any more, but yet it keeps on stretching
-my hips are spreading
-I don't sleep through the night any more
-coffee-one of my favorite things in life- now makes me gag
-my hands and feet are swollen
-my nails grow at an insane rate of speed, in fact if you stare at my hands long enough, you might see my nails grow =)
-I've eaten chicken tenders and fries for the first time in a loooong time instead of salads and yogurt
-I WANT to go to buffets now because I can actually get my money's worth these days =)
-I can't reach my toes, or see them for that matter
-and not to mention I HAVE A LIVING BABY in my stomach!!!

So, my point with all of this is... there have been some crazy things happening to my body and I don't always understand the changes and once I finally figure out what's going on, it just plain makes me chuckle. For example, I'd been telling people for about a week or so (a couple weeks ago) that I thought it was so funny when he would kick at the same rate for a few minutes, like once every 5 or 6 seconds I would feel a thump, because I thought maybe he was knocking "down there" to try and get out. How polite, right? Come to find out... he's been having the HICCUPS!!!!! Now that's hilarious. I thought he was "knocking"!?!?! Amusement number one.

The second thing that amuses me is that people have been asking if I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions where my stomach gets really hard all over. I've said no, but I think I've been having Braxton Hicks and just felt them differently because I've been having moments of what feels like stomach cramps in my lower abdomen. I asked the doctor one day what she thought and she agreed that Braxton Hicks contractions can manifest differently in different women and that I may very well be having Braxton Hicks contractions that feel like stomach cramps. Well, this week at the doctor, the nurse asked me if I've had any contractions or Braxton Hicks contractions and I told her about the cramping feeling and she asked if my stomach ever got real hard. Well, right on cue, my stomach started to feel hard all over and I looked down and said, well, it feels hard, kind of like right now, when he is changing positions. The nurse felt my stomach and said, I think these are Braxton Hicks because it is hard all over and is kind of changing the shape of your stomach. Then, once I started thinking about it, I realized I MUST HAVE BEEN HAVING BRAXTON HICKS CONTRACTIONS FOR WEEKS! I'll tell you why... when we had an ultrasound last week, we were told that he is "sunny side up" meaning, his face is facing towards my belly button, not toward my spine. Every time my stomach had gotten hard and I thought eh was just changing positions, I thought the reason it was so hard was because he had shimmied his back and bottom around and that was what the hard surface was. Uh, negative if his back is by my SPINE! I laughed out loud when I realized this because I'd been so certain I hadn't had Braxton Hicks contractions where my stomach got really hard and come to think of it, I've been having them for probably weeks, if not months now!!! Amusement number 2 for the day.

No one else is probably as amused as I am over these things but I just had to chuckle when I realized how much I didn't understnd some of the crazy changes going on in my body.

Now the question of the day is this: Are the cramping contractions I've been feeling REAL CONTRACTIONS????

36 weeks

So this past week at our childbirth class we watched "the video." I think we alllll know what I mean by that too but juuust in case you don't, it was a video of a birth. It actually wasn't too bad. Maybe that's because I've been forcing myself to watch birth videos online so that I'm not completely freaked out by what will happen to my body. The video actually did a good job portraying how long you can be in the 1st and 2nd stages of labor which is a part of labor I think I keep forgetting about. Not on purpose, but when I've been thinking about going into labor, I've been automatically thinking about my water breaking, then giving birth. I have to remind myself that there will most likely be hours and hours and hours of contractions before it is actually time to "push." I guess its the Hollywood mindset that I need to get rid of. After we watched "the video" we went upstairs for a tour of the labor and delivery unit. The rooms are actually very nice! I was quite pleased. They are big and seem more than adequate to spend 15+ hours in pain in =) The only thing they are lacking are tubs. I've read a lot about how being in a warm tub helps with the pain and most hospitals are equipped with these tubs but ours is not... oh well, I'm not sure if I'd even want to get in the tub or not.


This week Brandon did a great job of getting the baby's room painted and then wallpapered. Thanks to Brittney, Cole, Joan, and Ricky for your help! I managed to wash another load of baby items, mostly clothes from the baby shower, and organize some more of the office. Then the other night I organized under the bathroom sink and threw away a bunch of stuff that I haven't used in ages or I know I'll never use. I don't usually throw things away so this reorganizing the entire house has been monumental for me because I've thrown out bags of stuff! Brandon is very proud of me =)


This past weekend was very fun and very relaxing. On Saturday we had lunch with Brandon and Julie, our friends from Lynchburg, and their daughter Brielle, who is such a cutie pie! Julie is due a month after me so it was fun to get together and talk all things baby =) Then we went to the pool at Brittney and Cole's house and let me just tell you... this pool has been a Godsend. I'm so glad they decided to move into a neighborhood with a pool because I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed being weightless for a little while. Saturday night Rodney and Wendy came over and we all grilled out and had a fabulous dinner and made homemade ice cream. Brittney taught us a card card "nerts" (I have NO idea if I'm spelling it correctly) and I officially got addicted. It was a ton of fun.. my kind of card game for sure! Sunday was a worship concert at church that was great and then we just kind of layed around the house resting and napping until we went to dinner and fireworks with Brittney and Cole and Joan and Brad and Tiffany and all of their church basically. The fireworks were sorry. I mean, the worst fireworks show I've ever seen. It was pathetic and this probably explains why Corben didn't scream bloody murder. Monday I got up at 5 and was at work before 6am so that I could work half a day and then go to Pete and Brenda's for a Fourth of July cookout and pool party get together. It ended up being a very relaxing weekend and I feel recharged, however, I do still look forward to the weekends after only about a DAY of working... I guess I should just be thankful I have a job first of all and second, keep in mind that I will be "off" for 2 months in just a few short weeks.


This is where we are this week!

How far along? 36 weeks 3 days

Weight gain? As of last week by the doctor's scale: 36 pounds... by the scale I used: 34 pounds... either way I feel big as a barn.

maternity clothes? yes and the crazy thing is that some of them feel TIGHT. omg.

Sleep? Yeah, about that. Sleep in 2 hour intervals, alternating waking up to go to the bathroom or because I'm either wimpering or crying from the pain in my hips.

stretch marks? Ok... slight panic attack Monday morning when I realized... I HAVE A STRETCH MARK!!! Seriously not ok with this. I was dealing with the unsightly weight gain because I knew in the back of my mind that if I work hard enough and diet I can lose the weight eventually... HOWEVER, STRETCH MARKS ARE PERMANENT. In fact, I may have to go find a paper bag, stop hyperventilating, and then come back to finish this post...

belly button in or out? Out.

Best moment this week? Having the baby's room wallpapered and almost completely painted (except for the trim!!)

movement? All the time. Have I mentioned that he loves to camp out above my right ribs? Yes, you heard me. He shimmies his way up over my ribs and gets real comfy, meanwhile, my abs are stretching and I'm dealing with what feels like bruised ribs... I will, however, deal with any pain/discomfort as long as he's comfy and healthy =)

food cravings? watermelon. and cool ranch doritos.

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... every doctor's appointment

labor signs (I'm adding this since I'm so close to my due date now!) Last week the midwife did an internal exam and found that I am 50% effaced and that the baby is at station -1. We also had an ultrasound and found out that he weights 5lbs 12 oz!!!

milestones.... The baby's room is almost complete! Next on the list is putting together the crib!!

35 weeks along, 35 days LEFT!!!

Ok, WOW! Isn't it crazy that I am 35 weeks along?? CRAZIER still to think about it in terms of days because that means I only have 35 DAYSSSSS left before I meet my son! (If he comes on his due date of course). This week was such a whirlwind! We knew we had to get the house (somewhat) clean because Mom was coming Thursday night to stay with us. Not not mention, we only have a BABY ON THE WAY and need to get everything in order. I have just one question... Did anyone else feel like they had to rearrange their ENTIRE house just to get ready for a baby??? Um, let me just tell you that we have been working little by little for a couple of weeks now on getting the nursery ready, BUT this meant that we had to change a guest room into a nursery. Easy enough, right? WRONG. First we had to rearrange the office so that we could put the guest bed in the office with the desk and bookshelf and all the other "office stuff." Then, we had to empty out the closet in the guest bedroom. Easy enough, right? WRONG again. This closet was packed full of STUFF. Stuff that we didn't know where else to put. Let me give you a glimpse of what SOME of the items in the closet were: my wedding dress (big poofy wedding dress), all giftwrap and giftwrap accessories (not in ANY sort of organized fashion, just in the closet), a dresser full of t-shirts that Brandon and I don't wear on a regular basis, items that I bought on Black Friday this past year at a great price to keep as gifts or back-ups in case we needed one including crock pots and tupperware sets and coffee pots, random picture frames and other decorative items that we just don't have set out, etc. ETC ETC ETC. ETC.... ET CETERA. You get the picture right? There was a LOT OF STUFF stuffed in that closet that we are in the process of finding space for right now. In the meantime, we keep accumulating more baby stuff and just keep putting it in the nursery so now we need to paint. And now we need to find a place for all of this STUFF plus all of this baby gear to go while Brandon paints. At any rate, we managed to clean up enough for Mom to come stay with us. She got there Thursday night after our childbirth class and the next morning, rode to work with me so that Daryl could pick her up there and they could head on down to SC to do last minute wedding planning. Mom got to meet a lot of my coworkers and finally put faces to names in the stories I tell from work =) I wished she had been able to stay a little longer so I could have shown her around even more (because this was the first time she had seen where I work) but I know they had a ton of stuff to do, not to mention the drive to and from SC in front of them that day! Then that night Brandon and I went out to eat for Cole's birthday with the rest of the family. It was chaotic and funny as usual and I think Cole liked his birthday gift from us. Brandon and I got tickets for Cole and Brittney and Brandon and me to go see Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker in concert later this summer! Then, Mom got back from SC with Daryl and she stayed the night with us again so she could go to my baby shower the next day at Joan's house. Saturday morning we got up, had breakfast at IHOP (YUM) and then went to get manicures and pedicures! It was, by far, the best pedi I've ever gotten. I don't know if the girl felt sorry for my poor legs hauling around all this extra weight, or what, but she gave the best calf and foot massage ever.

Then baby shower time! Brittney had been planning this shower for a long time and was really excited about all the decorations and spent a lot of time and effort on everything and it all looked great! The baby's room is done in all lime green and chocolate brown so everything from the balloons to the cake to the green apple decorations were lime green ad brown! And she even made these cute favors out of baby jars and painted the lids and filled them with m'n'ms. Something a little traumatic happened at the baby shower... I've been swollen for about 2 weeks now and it happened so fast at first that I didn't have time to get my wedding rings off. At the baby shower, I was swollen so much that my rings were actually cutting into my finger so hard I thought I might start to bleed! I ended up having to soak my hand in ice water for about 15 minutes and then use dish detergent to get them off (plus half my knuckle). It was very painful and I actually wanted to cry, partly from the pain and partly because I don't ever take my rings off. I am proudly married to the man of my dreams who gave me gorgeous rings to wear for eternity and I want everyone to know I'm married! If I have to go the rest of my pregnancy without wearing them, it will be the longest amount of time I've ever gone without wearing my rings =(

Ok, here are some of the pictures from the shower but it's taking a while to load them all so I'll have to load the rest later...

I love this precious picture with Corben laying his head on my shoulder! For almost 3 years now, the kid has had my heart wrapped around his little finger... its crazy to think that in 5 weeks or so, I'll be even more in love with my own little boy!! (Not that Aunt Bethy will love you any less, Corben) =)

Here I am with my FIRST box of DIAPERS!!! Whoa!
Here is a picture of the bride-to-be and the mommy-to-be!! I love you Mom!


I want to write about Mom's wedding but I think that deserves a post by itself...
Here are the stats for this week!
How far along? 35 weeks 1 day

Weight gain? I go to the doctor tomorrow so I'll find out then if I've gained any more but so far, 32 pounds. (ugh)

maternity clothes? uh, yes.

Sleep? I'm not getting enough. I'd loooove to be able to sleep through the night again without waking up to go to the bathroom or from pain/being uncomfortable...

stretch marks? Nope, we're keeping a close eye on my tummy these days though...

belly button in or out? Out.

Best moment this week? My baby shower and my mom's wedding!!
movement? I realized for the first time this week that what I thought was just my baby "knocking" to get out in a rhythmic pattern was actually him having the hiccups! Don't make fun ok? I thought he was just trying to get out and was banging on what he thought was the door! =) Haha! But then one day it hit me all of a sudden that he had the hiccups! So cute! He's had them 4 or 5 times now!

food cravings? frozen lemonade still but I've been practicing restraint =) and still candy =)

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... a weekend to relax (somewhat) and get the baby's room painted... I keep saying that but it REALLY has to get done sometime this week!

milestones.... I'm starting to have more and more baby "stuff" and its kicking this mommy into high gear! I've been busy washing baby clothes and blankets and trying to get organized. My house looks like Babies R Us exploded inside... and it will never be the same, I hear =)

34 weeks

Wow, we're definitely on the home stretch now... 34 weeks. In 6 weeks (or less) I will meet my son. My tiny little sweet baby boy. The little boy that will depend on us for everything he needs. I wonder sometimes if it still hasn't hit me yet because this is serious stuff. I looked at Brandon the other day and said "We're about to be parents... forever... because once we're parents, we'll always be parents, until we die." What a crazy idea! My role as "mommy" will stick with me the rest of my life. I will never not be a parent again. Does anyone else feel the weight of this responsibility?! Do we realize how profound this journey of parenthood is?? It makes me grateful to my mom because I know from the moment I was born, she was striving to be the best parent she could possibly be. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely terrified, but absolutely honored, and one hundred percent excited to be a parent and as Brandon has been saying "I am aware of how unaware I am of how much my life will change." I'm not having second thoughts or anything like that, I'm just realizing how real all of this really is =) If that makes any sense.
This past Sunday was Father's Day. I haven't celebrated Father's Day in about 6 years for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone reading this blog and that won't be discussed here even if you don't know. At any rate, I was very excited that this was Brandon's first Father's Day. Brandon is so excited to be a Daddy and is so sweet to his little boy (my belly) that I can tell he will be a wonderful dad. If you don't know, what first attracted me to Brandon was his maturity and grace in handling a particular situation and I think God really blessed me when he gave me someone so gracious to marry. Brandon is even keel (most of the time) and handles situations with such maturity that I am blown away. Even if I am irate and screaming at him, he calmly tries to reason with me and diffuses the situation. He's told me stories of different instances where he has been either talked down to, embarrassed, cut down, or yelled at, and when I ask how he responded- thinking of course that he would tell me he yelled back or flew off the handle, etc- BUT he always tells me how he wanted to react and that he didn't and just tried to handle it calmly. What a man. Is anyone jealous that my son will have such a cool-headed father? What an asset that will be in disciplining and raising our child. I am so fortunate to have Brandon as my spouse and best friend. He may not realize it, but I look up to him and admire him. He is everything I ever wanted in a spouse and now that he is going to be the father of my baby, I am realizing more and more just how lucky we (me and baby boy) are.

To my husband and father of our child, I love you and want you to know how proud of you I am. I can think of several great men in your life who have influenced you and want you to know that you emulate the best characteristics in all of them. You are a man of great wisdom and grace and are admired by so many. I can't wait to raise our son with you and can't imagine being on this journey with anyone but you. You make me laugh, you inspire me to be better, you encourage me, and you are better to me than I deserve. Happy Father's Day to the man I admire most in life.

I promise I'll post pictures at some point this week...

How far along? 34 weeks 4 days

Weight gain? Weeeeell... about that... 32 pounds... I'm not entirely sure this is accurate. Ok, I'm desperately hoping that it isn't accurate. To my credit, I did go to a different office location so the scale was different and little miss nurse didn't even let the little weight thingy stop wavering up and down before she just slid it back and told me to "hop down." PLUS, I've been swelling a lot in my legs, feet, and hands so I'm thinking some of this weight is water weight.... right?!


maternity clothes? uh, yes.

Sleep? What's that? I think its absolutely hilarious (note my sarcasm) when I read in my pregnancy magazines and online that now is the time in my pregnancy when I should be "storing up on sleep since when the baby gets here I'll be so exhausted." Are they kidding??? Has ANYONE who has written any of those articles every been pregnant? Because let me tell you, I go to bed at 10:30, get up at approximately 1:30 or 2am to go to the bathroom, then wake up around 3 or 4am because my hips hurt or my legs are cramping up, then up again at 5 to go back to the bathroom, and then just about cry when my alarm goes off at 6. When exactly does this "storing up on sleep" or "resting up" for the baby happen?

stretch marks? none so far... lotion and i are very good friends.

belly button in or out? Out. and causing a scene sometimes =)

Best moment this week? swimming at the pool with my husband... weightlessness=a very good thing right now

movement? Only all the time =) I expect nothing less from my baby boy with an achiever mommy =)

food cravings? frozen lemonade from Jims. O-M-G amazing. Don't ask me how many I've had, I'm embarrassed to say =)

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... my baby shower this weekend and Mom's wedding!!

milestones.... I start going to the doctor every week now! Wow! I can't believe I'm already at this point in my pregnancy!

33 weeks

So much has happened since my last post and I really started out wanting to write every week but I've been so tired and so busy with other things that it just hasn't happened. I'll at least try to capture the highlights from the last few weeks. Brittney and I have had several very good coupon classes lately and some not so good classes... One of the not so good classes was an hour away and at a church. Since it was at a church, they requested that we not take up the usual fee, but instead, let them take up a donation at the end. We had been there before and done that very same thing and it turned out fine. Well this time, I counted the donation before we left and counted out $44 and SOME CHANGE. Ask me how insulted I was that someone had dug in their pocket for some dimes to throw in there. Ok, I'll tell you... VERY. Keep in mind that I'm pregnant and pretty hormonal at times so I was desperately trying to keep my emotions under control when I realized that this group of 13 ladies was going to send us home with 22 dollars apiece and NO gas fee, which was required for this class since it was an hour's drive for us (even further for me, since I had to drive about 20 minutes to get to Brittney's house). Brittney looked at me and said "I'm gonna take this stuff to the car, ok?" because she doesn't like confrontation and didn't want to deal with talking to the lady that hosted the class. Fine. I was irritated enough that I was going to say something, whether Brittney was going to stay with me or not. I calmly informed the lady when she asked if the donation was enough that "no, it is less than half of what we were expecting and normally receive." She and another lady nervously looked back and forth at each other and said "well I guess we can write you a check for the difference." And when I told her the difference was $83 dollars, she proceeded to look at the other lady and said "I guess we can write a check and mail it to them for $80, right?" And I wanted to say, NO actually I said 83 dollars, not 80!!!! But I didn't. Then a few minutes later I heard the ladies talking and one of them said "Yeah, we can vote on it at church." Um, excuse me? Vote on WHAT exactly? Whether or NOT you will send me the rest of the money you owe me? Ok, now I am officially ticked. Get me outa here. This was a few weeks ago. Have I received a check in the mail? NO. Let me just stop here.

Ok, next bad class we had... The directions said "go past the brick house and we live behind there." My first thought (for some reason) was that this was going to be in a trailor. Nothing wrong with living in a trailor, I was just concerned about space for 10 people plus us, plus all our stuff we bring. Sure enough, we roll down a gravel drive past the brick house, past the pasture with BULLS (YES BULLS!) to a trailor. Ding Ding Ding. I win. I knew it was a trailor. Still not a bad thing. However, Mr. Husband of the lady who is hosting the class is outside puffing away on a cigarette. THAT is a bad thing. THEN, Mrs. I am hosting this coupon class comes out the side door of the trailor puffing on a cigarette. DOUBLE BAD thing!!! Brittney and I look at each other, terrified, and mouth "we gotta get outa here!!!" BUT, we did the honorable thing and unloaded the car, and walked inside, where immediately upon entering I gag. The cigarette smell is overwhelming. Why? Because they clearly smoke INSIDE their house. There are ash trays EVERYWHERE. I was mortified. All I could think about was my baby and how I shouldn't be around smoke, let alone how much I HATE the smell of cigarettes. We got all our stuff set up and sat down to wait for the guests to arrive and after 3 ladies got there the host looked at us and said, "Ok, there's one more coming and then we can start." UH... wait, did you say just ONE more lady coming or ONE HUNDRED? Because I could have sworn you said "ONE" and we have a requirement that states a minimum of 10 people have to attend the class, otherwise the host has to pay for the difference. Why do we have that requirement? For exactly this reason, classes that we take time to prepare for, drive to, and conduct, not to mention all the refreshments and supplies we provide so we want it to be worth our time. We ended up teaching the fast coupon class in the history of A Penny Filled Pantry. Not joking. It was a matter of life and death. Well maybe not that serious, but our health was certainly at risk!

As far as other happenings in my life, I went to Northern VA for a college girlfriends reunion weekend at Susan's new house. We had so much fun! We got there Friday night for Susan's housewarming party and boy, does she throw a great party! There were a ton of people there and she was so prepared! I was impressed for sure. PLUS, her new house is fabulous and I'm so happy for her! She and her dad spent a ton of time remodeling and the results are awesome. I'm particularly jealous of the heated tile floors in her bathroom! Yes, heated! Then Saturday morning we got up and Whitney, Susan, and Laura surprised Sierra and I with a baby shower brunch!! Sierra and I had no idea and it was so sweet of them!! Here's a picture of the cute cake they got for us and some of the yumminess... Thanks to Whitney, Susan, Laura and Susan's mom for making us feel so special and so loved! Then that afternoon we went to Susan's parents' house to swim in the pool and it was so relaxing. It was just what I needed because being weightless for a few hours is absolutely fabulous when you are carring around 30 pounds more than you are used to! There was one downer to the weekend, and that was that Whitney's GPS and laptop were stolen out of her car and she had to leave Saturday night because she had to redo a presentation for work. Bummer =( I was so sad that happened, especially because I know Whitney was concerned since it was her work laptop. BUT, at least it was things... things that can be replaced... and not Whitney, because there is no replacing Whitney! So Whit, as sad as I am for you losing your gps and laptop, I'm really glad you're ok!!! That night Susan, Sierra and I went to dinner and then on a little coupon outing... and by this, I mean I needed to use a couple of coupons because they were expiring or the sale was ending or something. At any rate we went to Walmart and got 22 tubs of Pampers baby wipes and some Sour Patch Kids for $2. We were pretty excited! Then, apparently I was on a roll with my free stuff because we went to rent a movie at Redbox and got it for free using a code I had! Woohoo! All in all, it was a fabulous weekend and I realize every time we get together, just how much I miss my girlfriends and how grateful I am to have made such wonderful lifelong friends. Makes me miss college =)

I'll have to post some more pictures when I have time...

How far along? 33 weeks 4 days

Weight gain? 29 pounds... when I went to the doctor last week and got on the scale I was ecstatic to see that I had only gained ONE pound in THREE weeks!!! Who knows, maybe I'll keep the weight gain to a minimum the rest of the time and might possibly stay within the "healthy 25-35 pound weight gain" for my pre-pregnancy BMI!

maternity clothes? For the most part. I can't remember the last time I wore a pair of non-maternity pants, other than my PJs... on the other hand, I've bought some maxi-dresses lately that aren't maternity, which is nice, because I'll be able to wear them after he gets here too.

Sleep? Oh how I miss thee... I've been getting up 2-4 times a night to go to the bathroom and I've started waking myself up because I'm crying so hard because my hips hurt. The other day Brandon looked at me and said "It makes me so sad when you wake up crying in the middle of the night" and I hadn't even realized I'd still been doing that. I remember most nights when I wake up crying but not all. The pain in my hips is so bad that I can hardly stand it and I think exhaustion is the only thing that gets me back to sleep.

stretch marks? none so far... I'm keeping an eye out for those bad boys though because I know my tummy is stretching tighter than ever now, but Brandon just checked yesterday for me and didn't see any... whew!

belly button in or out? Out. And very clean. =)

Best moment this week? Brandon laying his cheek on my belly and feeling baby boy kick him

movement? This is a crazy question. I feel like I must have the most active child ever. Now, he has his moments when he'll sleep, but then there are times where, for an hour or more at a time, he will kick nonstop and squirm and wiggle and move all around. He's figured out that at night, when I lay down and am still, he can get up and dance and move all over the place... I sure hope this doesn't mean his days and nights are mixed up.

food cravings? candy. I can only imagine that I am making up for sweets making me gag in my first trimester because really the only thing I want to eat ever is candy. Like fruity flavored candy. Chewy Sprees, regular Sprees, nerds, pixi stix, pez, sour patch kids, etc... you get the idea...

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... going to pick up our crib this weekend and painting and wallpapering the nursery (finally)!

milestones.... BabyCenter.com says this week he should be about 4 pounds, like a pineapple! how cute!

30 weeks!

Um, is this right? 30 weeks?? Whoa, where have the last 30 weeks gone? I can't believe there are only 10 more weeks (give or take a few weeks or days!) until I meet my son! I have been so busy lately with finals and end of the semester final projects and papers and whatnot that I haven't really had time to think about my pregnancy. Now, I'm done with school for the semester- hallelujah!- and I passed both my classes!! I can't beleive I did 12 credits of graduate school while pregnant and passed every single one of them. If I had to do it all over again, I'm not sure I would... because it was tough. Really tough. Like I probably wouldn't recommend that anyone do it because I'm an achiever and I had a tough time making myself get through it. This "tired like you've never known" that people talk about when you're pregnant is true. It exists. It is truly an exhaustion like never before. And it is perpetual. I wake up in the mornings exhausted, drag myself out of bed, and by the time I get to work, I'm ready to lay down and take a nap. Not joking. Then all throughout the day I have to constantly get up and move around because I.am.so.tired. Seriously. Then some nights, I'm so tired that when I lay down to go to sleep, I'm too tired to sleep. Anyone know what I'm talking about? But at any rate, I did it! I feel so proud of myself for pushing myself to stick with it and gut it out til the end! Now I only have 3 more classes until I have my MBA! Woohoo! I am so excited that this time next year I will be holding my precious baby boy in one arm and my master's degree in the other!!!

So, because I was so busy I haven't been able to post every week like I wanted, but now hopefully I'll have time to post more often. This past week was a busy week because I had my last 2 classes and finals and final presentations and projects due and then Wednesday and Thursday were packed full of appointments that just kind of popped up! One of which was my appointment to get my cavity filled. Yeah, I said cavity. Have I written about this yet? I don't think I have. So I've been having some pain in my right upper teeth and I haven't been chewing on the right side for a few weeks now. My gums were swelling and I was getting food packed in what I thought was my gums so I would use my water pik every night to get the food out. Yeah, gross I know. Well, wayyy back during my second visit after I found out I was pregnant, I had told the doctor I thought I might need a calcium supplement since my teeth were kind of starting to hurt and I wasn't able to drink milk because it was hurting my stomach. I was trying to eat yogurt and cheese but you can only get so much calcium that way. At any rate, the doctor basically blew me off, threw a sheet of paper at me and told me those were foods that contain calcium, I'd be fine. I'm not an idiot, I know what foods have calcium in them, and I've lived in this body for 26 years, I think maybe you should pay attention to concerns I have... ESPECIALLY WHEN 2 MONTHS LATER I HAVE A HUGE CAVITY!!! Ok, so I'm a little angry at that particular doctor, but I got a cavity and there's nothing I can do about it now. So at any rate, I had to have my cavity filled this week. I was a little nervous because I canNOT lay on my back anymore because it is SO uncomfortable. In fact, when I went to the dentist for my checkup (when they discovered my cavity) I had been laying in the chair for my cleaning and had to sit up all of a sudden and almost passed out. Everything went black and the dental hygenist was like "are you ok!?" and I was. I just needed to sit up and then she let me lay on my side for the rest of my cleaning. So when I went to have my cavity filled I tried really hard to be a big girl but I didn't hesitate to remind them that this was my first filling and that I was very nervous. It actually wasn't so bad. Maybe it should be an awful experience, that way it deters people from getting cavities again but it really wasn't anything like I thought it would be. They numbed my gum with a gel first, then the dentist gave me my injections of numbing stuff and by the time they came back after letting it set in and work, I could blink and not feel my right eye so I felt much better knowing I was completely numb on that side of my face. I thought the drilling would be the worst part, but it really just sounded like an electric toothbrush and I couldn't feel anything so I was ok. I did start to get nervous though when the dentist told the assistant to keep rinsing and suctioning because he couldn't see anything since my gums were bleeding so much. This went on for what seemed like forever and he ended up filling the cavity and then having to go back and drill and re-fill again because my gums bled so excessively. If you didn't know, some pregnant women's gums bleed at the slightest thing and to have someone picking and drilling and spraying and suctioning only made mine worse. He was clearly getting frustrated, which is never a comforting thing for a patient to witness, so my palms started sweating profusely as thoughts of me having to leave with a huge drilled hole in my tootha dn come back after the baby got here to have my cavity filled. Luckily he was able to finally fill it and I left numb and slightly sore and dehydrated (from all the sweating) and completely prepared to have myself babied all day (Brandon came with me for moral support, even though he just sat in the waiting room). By the time I left the dentist's office, I had been there so long that I had to call into work because I had my doctor's appointment that day and I would have driven to work and had to turn right around and come back for my doctor's appointment. So Brandon took me to get a smoothie and listened to my slurred rendition of what happened as they filled my cavity (remember, my whole face was numb).

Ok, here's this week's survey...

How far along? 30 weeks 3 days

Weight gain? 28 pounds... I actually only gained a pound a week this past 2 weeks.. wow! I did good compared to my previous 2 pounds a week gain-age that I've been consistently keeping since 1st trimester...

maternity clothes? Mostly yes. And mostly the same things over and over. Anyone know where I can get CUTE maternity clothes? I'm not a huge fan of Motherhood Maternity because I just can't feel good about myself feeling fat AND looking frumpy...

Sleep? Never more than 3 hours at a time (due to baby-on-bladder syndrome), which is awesome when I'm falling asleep at work. I feel like a whale in the bed and when I turn over (which is often because my hips have started falling asleep when I lay on one side too long) its like a tidal wave going thru the bedroom and poor Brandon is startled out of his sleep every time I flip over (even though I try reaaaally hard to do it as gentle as possible) and asks "are you ok!?"

stretch marks? none so far... I've had Brandon check for me because I can't see past my belly button to the underneath of my belly

belly button in or out? Out. Definitely out.

Best moment this week? not having homework, not having to go to class and spending time with the love of my life.

movement? yes. I've read that you should feel at least 10 fetal movements an hour throughout the day... well, I might have an Olympian because this guy thinks it is 10 movements a MINUTE sometimes! And he's still chillin with his feet in my ribs and if I bend over to put my shoes on or pick something up, he does NOT like to be squished. He will immediately shimmy his little behind up in the middle of the ribs and stay there until I stretch out enough so he can get comfy again... demanding little fella =) ... (just like his Mama!)

food cravings? mostly frozen yogurt... randomly one day I craved dill pickle spears

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... getting the call that our crib has finally come in!

milestones.... BabyCenter.com says that I will be getting more and more clumsy because my center of gravity is shifting and the day that I read this I did a "bumper-car-like" move in the main office at work and enjoyed a good round of jabs from my coworkers =)

Hello... Third Trimester?!?!

Wow! Am I really in my third trimester already??? I am 28 weeks pregnant... wow, where did the first two trimesters go?? These past few weeks have been a whirlwind with school, finals coming up, work, and coupon classes, not to mention BEING PREGNANT! This week we had 3 coupon classes and the one Saturday was an open to the public class, which was a success! We had a great turnout and the facility was awesome for holding a class.

Saturday night, our life group drove an hour to eat at a place that is country style food, buffet of course, and we had a blast. I was a little nauseous by the time we got there because it was an hour of curving twisty roads, but by the time we got to get our dinner, I felt much better. I like country style foods, but I wouldn't say its my favorite. I guess I always question exactly what goes into it (AKA how much butter and fat) to make it taste the way it does. BUT, I will say that I ate my weight in fried popcorn shrimp (little shrimpies, I like to call them). For dessert they had blackberry cobbler that I thought would be really great with some ice cream, just one problem though, no ice cream on the buffet. However, Kate is so good to me and asked our waitress if there was-by some wild chance- any vanilla ice cream in the place and lo and behold there was!! Now, it was probably ice cream from 1970 and just a touch freezer burned, but I ate a few bites nonetheless because at this point I reaaally wanted ice cream with my cobbler. Thank you Kate =)

After we got back, I packed up my bags and headed off to Virginia for Mother's Day and to say goodbye to my house. What? Oh, my mom was only moving out of the house I spent my entire childhood in and I had to say goodbye to it and look around one last time. And what was the very first song I heard on the radio on my drive up to Virginia? The new Miranda Lambert song "The House that Built Me." Yeah, I cried. Why? Here are some of the lyrics:

I know they say you cant go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.


Ok, first of all... the line that talks about the handprints makes me cry right away because when we put in our concrete driveway, Josh and I put our handprints in the corner of the drive in the concrete. And yea, I had the back bedroom for a while... so anyways, the point of all of this is to say that this song makes me boohoo because I grew up in that house. There are a lot of memories contained under that roof... my whole life. And yes, I'm crying AGAIN as I type this because I'm female, I'm pregnant, and I am VERY hormonal.


So anyways, I went "home" for Mother's Day and ended up going through some boxes of things from my childhood and deciding what to keep and what to throw away with my Mom. We went to church Sunday morning and then out to lunch to celebrate our Mommy! Not to get sappy again on you, but I have to write a little something to my Mom so I'll try not to get to personal but hold on, because I'm already crying again...


Mom,


Happy Mother's Day! This is officially your 26th Mother's Day... can you believe it? I think you have done a fantastic job as a mother. I only hope that as I am about to become a mother to my own little munchkin, that I can be at least half as wonderful as you are. I truly mean that. You have been a constant in my life that has been invaluable. As I think about all the people who have come and gone in my life, I can only name one person who has been there since day 1... You! Of course, Josh and Brandon, are my other constants, but they haven't known me as long as you have =). You've been a pillar of strength and morality for me that hasn't wavered. Never once have I seen you move from what you believe to be right and true and even in our darkest hours, you were steadfast. In some of my hardest moments in life, you were the one holding my hand or holding me up, like at Mr. Scott's funeral. You have sought to please God and no one else and this is probably your most admirable trait. I have heard you tell me and Josh more than once, that we can hate your guts, but you are responsible to God for us so you are a parent first, then our friend. And you have been a constant source of laughter and joy. Some of my favorite memories from life involve us laughing, like the time at that seafood restaurant where we laughed so hard we cried, the time at a mall somewhere out of town that you thought something was so funny, the whole mall literally turned and looked to see where the peals of laughter were coming from and Josh and I had to walk away. The time that we tried to move a bed either from downstairs up, or vice versa and got stuck in the landing of the staircase and we both laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. Then, don't forget the time at the drive-thru at Subway when we couldn't order because we were laughing so hard we couldn't speak. Not to mention all of the fast food restaurants after that infamous day... So, Mom, even though your "angel baby girl" is grown and married and almost a mommy myself, I still look up to you and admire how you approach life. We may be different (not much, some would argue) but I still think you are the most wonderful woman in the world. You are, by far, the strongest woman I know and I will continue to try to be like you, especially as baby boy comes into the world. Here's to the most amazing Mom in the world and to another 50 years of Happy Mother's Days and now Happy Grandmother's Days too!

I love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my mommy you'll be.


Ok, let's dry our eyes and get to the weekly survey...


How far along? 28 weeks 3 days

Weight gain? Yeah...about that 25 pounds... I've officially gained more than that! At my doctor's appointment I had to get weighed and I've now gained 26 pounds this pregnancy! YIKES! And I still have 12 weeks to go!

maternity clothes? Mostly yes.

Sleep? Eh, some nights its ok, other nights not so much

stretch marks? Not yet...

belly button in or out? Still half in half out but a teeny bit more out than in.

Best moment this week? Going home to see my Mom and brother!

movement? feet in ribs... constantly.

food cravings? not really... most days I just have a hard time even figuring out what I want to eat...

Food aversions? coffee

what I'm looking forward to... decorating our nursery!


milestones.... BabyCenter.com says this week that he's able to make out light that filters in through my belly!! So cute! I find myself wanting to make different animals with my hands and put them against my belly so he can see the shadows... =)